I am blessed because i babysit the cutest girl on earth- CHRISTINE.
She's gotta be the sweetest girl anybody could ever everr meet.
Today, her parents were super busy, and the other sitter is on vacation (at Cuba, baby), so i had to take care of her for 13 hours. At first i was like "oh darn, that's a long time." But it really wasn't.
She stayed at my house for the whole day, playing and fiddling with my stuff while i was working on my essay. Occassionally, she came up from behind and gave me a few hugs and kisses. and then I always went: "WHY ARE YOU SOOOO CUTTTE" and then she gave me a few more kisses. *awwww*
and then when i said that i had to get back to work, she left me alone and played with other stuff. She's the only one i could freely give hugs to without having to worry about being annoying. Because i literally hugged her more than 60x in an hour (one per minute). hahahaha.
I love her so much, i dont know how i'm going to "let go"...when she grows up, and when doesn't need me to babysit her anymore. the thought of that just makes me want to cry a little.

*sniff sniff*
hm, why is my blog so weird looking. the links and stuff are all the way on the bottom. stupid blog.

I am deeply appalled at my laziness and my "ability" to waste time.
I've been home for many hours, and i am ashamed to say that i have only written two pages for my essay, two pages of crap, seriously.
I'm reading it now, and it seriously is crap. LITERALLY crap. it's a bunch of words jumbled together to make a pile a crap.
it's like, even worse than crap, because it doesn't make sense, at least crap makes sense..in a way...coz i know what it is. but my two page non-essay is not an essay, it's nothing. it's not even worthy to be called crap.
it sucks.
why am i so distracted.
the paragraph above is crap.
crap.
i am scared.
the thought of failing the course is scary.
i know i won't, but the thought of it is.
i'm rambling incessantly.
i'm nervous.
why should i be nervous.
oh gendi, why won't you come to your senses?

do i have ADD*? seriously do i have ADD?
i have ADD. (in a carmel way)
but in a real way, do i have ADD? maybe i do. *cross fingers* i hope i don't.
but sometimes i think ADD is a make-believe disorder. Or that a lot of people don't REALLY have A-D-D, and just use that as an excuse in life.
*ADD= attention deficit disorder