Sometimes i wonder how people see me as...as in, outgoing, or shy, or...quiet?
Because i feel that most of the time, at fellowship, i'm pretty outspoken, but it's weird because everytime i raise my voice, the blood inside me flows 2x faster than normal, it's like an exercise in itself. I really get SCARED and i start panting and breathing deeper breaths.
My point? I don't know, i'm just really self conscious regardless of how comfortable i am with the group. As long as it's with a group of people, my little, little hair on my arms, and legs, and pits stand up. I get NERVOUS. I get fidget-y, and when i finsih talking, i reflect about what i just said, and scold myslf in my mind "omg, gendi, how could you say that? that was stupid!" or something. It's crazy how wild my mind gets because it's running everywhere.
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hey guys, look at the courses i'm taking this year!:
ANT341Y1 China in Transition
ANT364Y1 Environment & Globalization
ANT365H1 Native America & the State
ANT448H1 Ethnicity & Nationalism
ANT460H1 Global Perspectives on Women's Health
ANT461Y1 History of Anthropology & the Limits of Theory
YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY
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Regarding how i get crazy rollercoaster emotions when i speak in front of the group. I am SOO scared for this year, all of my 4th year courses are SOO small, they're all seminar based, meaning they only have 20 people and we HAVE to talk in class. People in my class are SO intelligent and smart i am super duper intimidated. So the other day, i introduced myself to a girl who was sitting beside me, here's how the conversation went...
me: "hi, my name is Gendi, what's yours?"
girl: "my name is ____ (i forgot the name. haha)"
me: "oh, so do you major in anthropology?"
girl: "yes, double major in anthropology and religion"
me: "did you take rlg241y?"
girl: "yes, professor marshall, what an incredible professor"
me: "oh yeah, haha ...he..haha...looks like tom green. haha. ha.aha. ha. (stupid laughter)"
girl: (looks at me weird) "um...yeah. i find him incredibly left wing, don't you?"
me: "...sure?" (then i turn away, wondering what "left wing" meant haha how stupid)
ok i'm exagerrating, i'm not THAT stupid, but i just don't know much about politics.
3 comments:
Oh my. hahaha i'd be freaking out right about now if i had to talk in class. seriously. petrified!!!!! but hehe...all my courses are like..200 level courses...which means...HUGEMONGOUS classes (i know i spelled that wrong, bite me.) but i have this one class where i have to do DEBATES. i will seriously have a heart attack then. really. prediction of death: early december.
oh man, i know exactly how you feel. that's why i don't really speak much in public...or to people in my class in general. cause their brain smartness capacities always seem to be ten-thousand-fold compared with mine.
the trick is...to randomly use a pick-up line to fluster and confuse the opponent, then quickly excuse yourself for a washroom break and never return...=)
wow, 6 courses? g'luck! =D
WHAT? DRU?! I DONT GET IT haha
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