there are a lot of people that i really admire. I always want to be like them.
like this girl called Diana, her family's non christian, but she went to catholic school all throughout elementary. she then switched to public school for high school, and despite that, she always sought for God on her own... she said she read the bible and prayed everyday because even though she "cut off" her catholic ties, she knew there was something more. so then one day during univeristy, she just decided to go to utccf and havent' stopped going since. (o and yes, she became a christian)
such thirst and enthusiasm. i just don't know how to explain... some people can hvae so much discipline and firmness in their own beliefs that they can overcome so much... on the contrary, im' like... blessed with a family who sharse same faith as me and i'm taking it for granted.
i wish i could be like that.

i have this other friend, she has incredible self control and she's one of the most humble and hard working person i know.
i wish i could be like that.

i wish i had art talents like my AY friends, i wish i was smart like science people, i wish i was caring like _______, i wish i was passionate about God like ________, i wish i could have self-control like _________, hardworking like _____, bold like _________, etc etc etc
i also wish to be so many things, i always wonder why some people are so liked by so many people...and i'd always work to become more like those people. i'm so dissatisfied with myself.
deem gai geh?
it's as if, if i were asked, "what's so good about you, gendi?" by brad pitt on cnn, i would be speechless (besides the fact that it's brad pitt, and it's broadcasting to the whole world)... point is, i wouldn't be able to point out anything that's good about me.

i think it's time of the month, so i'm having unstable emotions.
go away, negative energy.
come hither, positivity.

p.s. on monday, while waiting for my mama outside market village, guess who i bumped into? YES! it's SUSU! (aka sulas, silas, shelly, shane, shamu) and his sister! They got into my car and he told me he was just going in to buy mcdonald's...all the toil and labour of finding a parking spot at the pac mall parking lot, JUST to go to mcdonald's...the world's biggest fast food chain store, needless to say, there was another one just one minute away.
So i just drove around the parking lot, trying to kill time, driving onto pavements from time to time, susu laughing at me, and got off the car to buy his MCNUGGETS. (this sentence is grammatically incorrect, but hey, who cares, right? susu? i can say whatever i want, shelly.)
=)