by golly i've got joy like a fountain

I just got back from a fellowship meeting (mcbc), and just sitting in that meeting room made me feel a sense of nostalgia..of carmel, of high school, of old days...


This year has been a trying year for me, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and most of all, spiritually. THe transition from high school to university, moving to a different house, and attending a different church has made me become really insecure about myself and pretty much everything.
From struggling with grades at school, to trying to keep up with devos...i feel like i've failed everything. Sometimes I feel so unworthy, so useless, so...ugly, so...naked. Like i'm stripped away of a lot of things that i once held dear...
For a while I was lonely at school and church because i didn't have many friends, it was after a long adjusting period that i learned to find solace in being alone. I didn't have anybody to turn to for support spiritually and it was so difficult for me to grow close to God.
It was a weird feeling, because i wasn't like depressed or anything, i just felt really loser-ish in the spiritual department, but as the "famous saying" goes (something of the like) "spiritual problem is the root of all problems"...i guess it's because of that, everything else just crumbled- i didn't put God as priority and started to occupy myself with other stuff
i'm so grateful for friends through this time...they really kept me sane throughout this transition period
special thanks to abby...you've really stuck with me through a lot of thick and thin....going to UTCCF with me...coming to visit me...breakfasts..lunches at UT...eating indian dessert at york...everyting man
it actully wasn't that bad though, i guess this year has been good because of all the cool changes, but i just needed enough time to adjust and adapt to all the different things

anyway...my point is, things are starting to look/brighten/rox (courtesy of rox and mike) up now, because i'm pretty settled in my new house (...ignoring the numerous boxes still in my room...waiting to be unpacked, and the garage that is so packed with unused furniture that we can't park our car in..and..etc), i passed first year (with my...pretty half arssed efforts), and i'm starting to know more people at church/fellowship! All the odd "what-the-heck-is-happening?" pieces of puzzles seem to be fitting together now...i'm getting back on track!

i still haven't gotten to my point yet though.
The reason why i'm writing this is because i'm SUPER HAPPY! I just got back from a fellowship meeting..planning for next year's fellowship, and i'm part of the commitee. I"m starting to be more involved in church, and i've been CRAVINGG to serve for a whole year! CRAAVVING to go to fellowship consistenly for a whole year!
I'm so happy that i could serve God, and a tight knit of brothers and sisters to serve with...darn i'm just so happy gee by golly..he truly answers prayers =)

So looking forward to next year's Pneumatos