wow i'm on a roll, a sushi roll. a futomaki roll because that's my favourite

so what i learned the most this year.... being STRONG.

i had a really rough couple of months where somedays i didn't even want to get up. that's when i realized how fragile my heart was. it was one of the worst feelings ever.

i have been so protected from hurt my whole life..so sheltered..so this was a completely new experience for me where i felt extremes of happiness and extremes of sad

Have you ever cried so hard that you couldn't breathe? That you just don't have the appetite..for food..or even ..to be happy?

have you ever..? (brandy> HAHAH)

i felt so guilty, sad, down... because i felt i hurt someone real bad but i was soo hurt myself too.

i still do some days.

The thought consumes you, you keep thinking and reflecting and wish things could've been different or little things you said could have been said differently

Anyway, time will heal everything. I am grateful for friends and family and God.

i'm also so grateful to have the opportunity to have gotten to know someone so kind-hearted, caring, and accepting for who i was.

Now i have experienced this kind of hurt, i feel the ability to identify with others better and i truly feel my experience enables me to bless others as well.

In light of all this i want to post the lyrics of a song i love and really describes my experience, or the way to deal with situations like this really well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p_JxDGVqXg&feature=avmsc2

"Nothings impossible I have found
For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again

Don't lose your confidence if you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip
And pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again

Work like a soul inspired till the battle of the day is won
You may be sick and tired but you'll be a man my son
Don't you remember the famous man who had to fall to rise again?
They pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again"

There's so much truth to this song. and that is part of life, you go through shit, you deal with it, and you learn to be stronger. You learn to be grateful for the experiences because those are what shapes you. Along the way i made some really good friends, i made new friends and i grew closer to some. You learn that everyone goes through tough things and friends and family are there to help each other out and to support them through.